To open my eyes to see another day of my life is the best miracle for me. I admit, though sometimes I really hate it, especially when there's a class test coming up on that day or questions being asked by that particular teacher who never gives it a rest or something nasty like that. Eeewwww! That really sucks! See... I'm not a book-worm, hey that doesn't count novels and fictions, okay? But of course not a studious book-worm like some of my best friends (boy, but we still manage to keep on being best friends, strange, eh? How do we do that Joana?), and of course I'm not a topper in academics. I don't think I am any good at communication skills, (well, unless you count 'non-stop-blah-blah-blahs' for what you call a good speaking, backed with that laughter which could be heard up to a minimum of 3 kilometers, as Nethan calls it, GOD!) and neither am I good at people skills and stuff like that (how am I supposed to get there with this bad-temper of mine and oh, of all, I excel in being really stupid when I am expected to act like a grown-up, ditto!). But actually, you know, I am really an expert when it comes to imagining my future and day-dreaming, (dude, I do that a lot). And that's why I like getting up to another new day, to start dreaming all over. In life, yesterday's always a different day and tomorrow becomes the new one.
Fate took away my left-view when I was little and I can't even remember how it was like when I could see with both eyes. No big deal, I know there are people with much disabilities and problems. But still, I hate being an eye-patient, to visit hospitals and to sit before those white-clad folks who call themselves 'eye-specialists', 'retina-dept. Heads' and lot other (including my secret nicknames for them, but sorry, I can't type it here, highly confidential). That;s the one thing I really hate about my life, the reality of being a PATIENT!
How often have I wondered if God really loves me? How many ties after confession, I spent my time questioning if God would really forgive me? But I know He would, you know why? Because I have friends, even younger than me who knows me at my worst and still prefer to stay by my side. If human beings can be so kind towards me, why not God? Eh? Yeah, I'm never left alone.
Hope is something we all need. No matter what you gotta have some hope, a belief that everything's gonna be okay. And I still think one day, I'll be alright too, inside and out. I just have to wait, that's all. My Dad has forced me many times to replace my damaged eye with the artificial one, but my Mom and I always said 'no'. Why? Hope, that's it! We still believe that one day, God will listen to us and do a miracle. Or maybe, just maybe, He wants me to live like this and to be an inspiration to someone else, uh? That's what I wanna be. That';s what I'm gonna be when I grow up, well, that's a bit stupid since I'm already 19 and all, but still, it's never too late to dream! Is it?
(To be continued...)
